


48

by Phaerlax



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 16:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phaerlax/pseuds/Phaerlax
Summary: "Gonna be away for a while, starting tomorrow."





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anne_L](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_L/gifts).



> eu esqueci que você não jogou 358/2 days ;~; Isso não vai fazer sentido asdfhasdjf 2 LATE 2 REGRET

“If you’re looking for Axel, he’s gone _._ ”

Saïx spoke calmly as usual as he passed by him, but the words had a weight to them, and that weight came down on Roxas, stopping the boy on his tracks.

Oh. Okay.

Axel hadn’t said at what time he was going to leave. Roxas assumed they’d maybe have time for the day’s “icing on the cake” later – maybe more. Or that he’d at least have the opportunity to show the _winner!_ stick he’d found yesterday.

But it was okay; surely Axel and the others had reasons to leave for Castle Oblivion in such a hurry.

Castle _Oblivion._ The name would always cause a strange, cold sensation to creep down Roxas’ spine. He fidgeted with the stick that he was holding. A place called _Oblivion_ didn’t sound like the sort of place you’d visit and come back from so casually.

Axel didn’t say when he’d be back, just that he’d be away for “a while.”

A while was a short time, wasn’t it?

“Roxas,” Saïx voice called out, and Roxas looked up to see that he had reach his usual spot in the Grey Area, standing with his back to the glass panes. “You’re assigned to number Fourteen today. Show it how you operate.”

 _It._ Roxas walked towards the petite, hooded figure whom Saïx indicated. She had smiled at him, when the Superior introduced her Where Nothing Gathers – _she,_ not _it,_ he was pretty sure.

“Hey, Fourteen-“ Roxas greeted her, very mater-of-factly, before remembering to smile, like Axel had taught him. “Hm, what was your name again…?”

Fourteen moved her face towards him, though mostly only her mouth was visible. The mouth didn’t move. Silence.

_Okay…_

A while was a short time.


	2. 2

Roxas woke up, but he didn’t open his eyes, and stayed quiet. He thought that, as long as he didn’t look, didn’t check, it would be possible to pretend that he might not be alone on the bed.

But he had other senses. No breathing was audible. He couldn’t feel another body, slim as it might be, weighing down on the mattress. It was futile to pretend, so he opened his eyes.

Whiteness, and nobody else. Roxas sighed as he sat up. Inside his underpants, he had that odd, good-in-an-uncomfortable-way sensation that was frequent when he awakened. Thinking of Axel made it worse – that usually wasn’t a problem, because Axel himself could make it better. Way better. But he wasn’t there.

 _A while is a short time_ , he mused idly as he got dressed for the day. He’d though that repeatedly the previous day, during the mission with Fourteen and when he had ice cream all alone afterwards. She – it? Maybe Saïx was right – hadn’t uttered a single word all throughout the day, despite his occasional attempts. She reminded Roxas of himself, a couple weeks ago. A zombie.

Axel had fixed him. Maybe Fourteen needed fixing too.

But Roxas wasn’t Axel – he had no idea how to help; so, instead of giving though to that, he just hoped not to be assigned to her again. _I’ll ask Axel when he comes back._

Just a little while.


	3. 4

The Organization was intent on making him and Xion a duo. They had gone together on the last two missions.

Xion was showing her face now, and she spoke to him. She could also wield the Keyblade. Those were all nice things, and sure beat the previous zombie-like silence. Roxas had taken her for the icing on the cake of that day’s mission. He reasoned that having someone to talk to and hand out with would disguise Axel’s absence.

Her presence made it even more noticeable, in fact. The fact that Xion wasn’t Axel was obvious and glaring. It wasn’t her fault, but it was true, and it was true that she couldn’t take his place, ever.

That was okay; Axel would be back soon. It had already been four days.

Roxas had trouble falling asleep lately. He clung tightly to his pillow, eyes shut, and tried to keep away the thoughts that made him hot and bothered. That was counterintuitive and impossible, so of course it didn’t work. He’d tried touching himself, to relieving the pressure. But it was just like hanging out with Xion – it just made the fact that Axel _wasn’t there_ all the more evident. It brought him no relief.

He tried not hoping tomorrow would be the day, because that might make it easier to accept if turned out not to be.

That was also impossible.


	4. 5

“That’s none of your concern,” Saïx dismissed him, dry as always. Xigbar shot him a look with that gleaming yellow eye that Roxas couldn’t decipher – not that he was trying to. His focus was elsewhere, or nowhere, more accurately. He had decided to ask around, and he had heard…

“But Axel-”

“Gone. He may have disappeared for good,” the blue-haired Nobody continued in that monotone, and Xigbar grinned as he watched the words sink into Roxas. “There’s no word from Castle Oblivion. But that’s _none of your concern_.”

“Would be, if he only had a heart,” Xigbar saw fit to chuckle at his own comment. “At least I get to save up on condolences, eh”

True, he didn’t have a heart, but he felt cold all over, and light. His hands shook briefly.

He didn’t believe it.

“I- I don’t believe it,” Roxas said, shaken. “Axel wouldn’t-”

“You don’t have to.” Saïx walked away, signaling he was done. “Find some other way to play pretend or, better yet, get to work.”

“You’re with me today, kiddo,” Xigbar announced, patting his shoulder, as he watched Saïx leave nonchalantly. “Agrabah. Let’s go.”

Roxas felt as if he had swallowed a Shadow, and it was writhing inside him; he wanted to protest, to say that _no,_ there was no way things were going to go on as if nothing had happened, that he should search for Axel – but he just nodded slowly instead, and followed Xigbar to the Dark Corridor. He felt a great sense of detachment from his surroundings. It was the first week all over again.

_Gone…_


	5. i

_What’s there to leave behind? We’re not even supposed to_ be _in the first place…_

_Nothing’s left of them._

_That’s right._

Xigbar’s crushing words after he’d gotten himself together enough to ask, and the blistering sun of the desert – those were his last true memories, before the ground rushed to him and his world went white, then black, as if a window slowly closed–

–a blonde girl, sketching, sketching–

He felt as if he was falling. Looking around didn’t work like it should. Every blink, every shift in perspective, it was a new scene–

–a cascade of rose petals withering into dust, an ear-piercing wail–

–torn pages fluttering weakly in the wind, strangled, dying gasps–

–sparks dying out, the sound of metal blades hitting the floor–

_Nothing’s left of them_

–fire, engulfing a figure clad in black robes, dirty blonde hair going up in flames, as someone said, “ _goodbye_ -”–

There was no way he wouldn’t recognize the voice, after missing if for days. Axel, there for an instant- in a cruel play, the vision shifted as he tried to look closer-

–white walls, black robes, hood up–

_Will he wake from this?_

The voice was deep and menacing, rippling through the memory, also gone in an instant–

–the Keyblade clashing against a familiar hoop of metal, a burst of flames as the green-eyed, grinning assailant jumped back–

_I went to a new world today, Roxas._

Xion?

_I hope you that can join me next time._

What was–

_Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Roxas._

He couldn’t process what was happening, it was impossible to think properly in that state; thoughts didn’t stick together like they should, as the flood of visions never paused–

–“ _It was worth saving you after all…_ ”–

Axel. Axel disappeared in a swirl of darkness. Gone, but not _gone._ Were the visions true–

–the blonde girl, disappearing as his vision narrowed, a door sliding close–

_I knew that I’d find you snoozing down here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (você devia ter jogado Days mas lembrando um pouco de Chain dá pra entender mais ou menos o que tá rolando)


	6. 32

Roxas had slept for twenty-six days, and the Organization didn’t care. He only knew what had happened when Xion met him the previous day, after his assignment.

That meant Axel was gone for thirty-two days.

“No,” Saïx told him when asked if they had any news from Castle Oblivion. Roxas then explained that he saw Axel in his dreams, and the man’s only response was to briefly close his eyes, before telling Roxas to drop the nonsense and get to work, signaling that discussion closed. The boy got a sympathetic look from Demyx, who was lounging nearby.

Later, sitting on the ledge of the clocktower in Twilight Town all by himself, Roxas tried in vain to have visions like those dreams, to check if Axel was alright.

The reality that Axel might truly be gone never come back was creeping up on him, from inside out, and it made his body feel hollow, light, as if the wind could blow him off the tower and away into that eternal sunset.

Roxas’ ice cream melted away untouched.


	7. 35

It was hard to keep his balance, straddling the flying lance up in the sky, and it was uncomfortable. Roxas watched the castle with the binoculars, and his gaze lingered on the lonely tower, on the window, where he could see the dome with the rose.

He was going to move on, but a petal fell almost on cue, and along with it came an earth-shattering rumbling noise that seemed to echo all throughout the castle grounds, and a mournful, pained roar that rivaled the rumbling in volume. Roxas was startled, nearly dropping the binoculars, and he might have fallen off, if it wasn’t from the sudden strong grip on his arm.

“The point of a reconnaissance mission is to pay attention, Thirteen. Keep your wits about you,” Xaldin scolded him as he stabilized. Following a flourish of the man’s hand, three more of the Lindworm gathered around Roxas’ form to better support him in the air. Unlike Xaldin, he couldn’t fly on his own. “The heart of this castle’s lord has been overtaken by tempestuous emotions, which makes him unpredictable and dangerous; we must pay special mind to remaining undetected.”

“He sounds hurt,” Roxas remarked meekly, once the roaring subsided. “Shouldn’t emotion feel… good?”

Xaldin scoffed. “Some do. But emotion is unreliable in its fleetingness.” The Whirlwind Lancer scowled in disgust to drive his point. “The affection he held for the girl now brings him great torment in her absence. Even as a source of power, the heart has its weaknesses-”

Roxas was glad he didn’t have a heart, if it would make him feel _worse_.

“Do you think she’ll come back…?”

“I’ve yet to learn why she left, where to, or how it might ultimately affect my designs. More surveillance is necessary,” Xaldin concluded, raising the binoculars to his eyes. Dark gears seemed to be turning inside his head. “That’s enough talk.”

They split up and attempted to eavesdrop on the servant’s conversations later. Roxas wasn’t really paying attention.

Later, when he once again sat alone on the clocktower, he felt like there was a magic rose inside him too, shedding a petal every day.


	8. 41

The evernight of Halloween Town was lit up as Roxas cast a Fira, the bolt of magical flames impacting against the small, frozen heartless that charged at him. Heat vaporized the protective ice cube that surrounded the creature, and it came undone with a squeal, bringing the Organization one step closer to their goal.

Roxas thought to smile, thinking that Axel would be proud of his fire magic – then he remembered Axel wasn’t there, and that hollow sensation overtook him for a second, more than enough time for half a dozen of the frigid heartless to surround him and converge-

Axel would have no trouble with that, all it would take would be a spin with his chakrams and a burst of flame–in the time it took for Roxas to think that, it was too late to react; that was going to _hurt-_

It did hurt, but mostly from a few sharp shards of ice that glazed him after each heartless was destroyed by blasts of force from above. No hearts rose from their remains, however, as the keybearer wasn’t responsible for their destruction.

“Damnit, kiddo, that’s six hearts wasted!” Xigbar groaned as he blew the smoking tip of his fused arrowguns, floating upside down above Roxas. “They’re _ice cubes,_ just keep up the heat!”

Roxas didn’t say he was sorry, both because he wasn’t and because he knew Xigbar couldn’t care less. He simply turned at the next charging group of Icy Cubes and spun the Kingdom Key, attempting to focus magic into a Firaga that would destroy them all at once.

He’d only tried that spell a couple of times, in training (with Axel), never in combat; he couldn’t do it fast enough. The heartless were upon him before the blast formed.

Roxas was pretty sure that Xigbar wouldn’t save him again, so he rolled away, taking a chilling hit to his back in the process, before ducking for cover behind a grave. He guessed right; all the Freeshooter did was cover his retreat with a quick barrage, not wanting to ‘waste’ any more hearts.

“Come on! At this rate, poppet is gonna surpass you, y’know,” Xigbar joked, chuckling to himself from his position of safety. “I’ll tell Axel you still need some lessons on fire, once he’s back-”

The impact of what he said interrupted Roxas’ healing spell, even as the heartless advanced around his cover to engage him. He looked up at Xigbar, confusion and shock so painfully evident that the Freeshooter saw fit to laugh. ”What, Saïx didn’t tell- oh, I see,” he rolled his eye, still grinning. ”And he claims not to partake in pretending, heh-”

Roxas jumped up on top of the grave, using the vantage point to rain down strikes with the keyblade, ice shattering on impact; he processed the information, daring not hope, as Xigbar continued speaking: “Well, Flamesilocks is ok, for better or for worse, and just needs a few more days to wrap up his job at Oblivion, then he’ll be back, and you two can go back to doing things I’d rather not think about; now, can you quit being useless, kiddo?!”

_He’ll be back._

Roxas had stopped listening at that _,_ and a warmth started building up in his chest, despite how cold it was in that world, especially with the Icy Cubes attacking him; the warmth built up, as did the frantic speed with which he was parrying and striking at the creatures, the keyblade a blur, then a flash, the warmth flowing out of his form and through the weapon-

Xigbar whistled as the pillars of Light manifested around Roxas, spinning rapidly around the young Nobody to disintegrate all heartless around him, and then expanding in a fractal dance all around, scorching several others before they even got close enough to engage him. A myriad hearts took to the sky.

“That’ll do.”


	9. 43

“Are you _suuure?”_ Demyx asked again, smirking mischievously as he leaned his face closer to Roxas’. His breath was minty. “You might not even miss him anymore after you get a taste of me, Rox-”

“No! I mean, yes- I’m sure,” Roxas turned his face away, flustered. “Thanks, I suppose?”

“ _Whyy?_ You obviously need to blow out some steam, man, you’re all cranky ever since Axel left,” Demyx hopped around, quick on his feet, to stay in Roxas’ field of vision no matter where he turned his face. “Lemme give you hand – or something else. What happens in Neverland stays in Neverland…”

Roxas weighed his odds of jumping down to the sea and getting away from that conversation. Not very high, considering the control that Demyx had over water.

“I don’t want to!” He hoped to sound angry, but it came across in a way that made Demyx giggle and pinch his cheeks. Roxas pushed his hands away, pouting.

“’course you do, you’ve been telegraphing that for a week now-”

“Not with _you!_ ” Roxas immediately regretted the words he blurted out – he didn’t mean to offend.

But he’d rather have offended Demyx instead of making him go “ooh, so you two have a serious thing going on, hmm? Knowing Axel, I assumed it was just shagging casually-”

Did they, though? The thought ate away at Roxas a little. Axel had never really said anything to that effect. He had just been there for Roxas- and mostly because he was assigned to, right? He wondered if it had hurt Axel too, being away from him so long.

Demyx hadn’t phrased it as a proper question, thankfully, and was still blabbering as Roxas began paying attention again “-so special about him? Is it the hair? The anorexia? The-”

 _It’s that he cares._ That was the answer, but he wouldn’t say it. Demyx wouldn’t understand; he’d say that was nonsense, because Axel didn’t have a heart – and neither did Roxas, for that matter.

It might even be true. But Roxas felt warm and fuzzy when he thought it was a lie. Maybe that was all that mattered.

“-even a kiss? What happens in Neverland-”

_“No!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckboi Demyx is the only true Demyx, look at his fuckboi face


	10. 47

It had already been five days since Xigbar told him it would only be a few days. How many days were a few? How long was a while?

Roxas swung the keyblade with reckless abandon, thwacking heartless around or blasting the flying ones with magic, as he obsessed over those thoughts and other worries that had festered within his psyche along the last days. He poofed one creature after another, blitzing through the seemingly endless hordes that plagued the Queen of Heart’s garden. Luxord beckoned him to slow down, but Roxas just wanted to get through the days as quickly as possible so that-

Pain flared on his side as one of the flying heartless dove to ram him with its conic head. Roxas winced, but grit his teeth and immediately struck back – on empty air; it was a Sapphire Elegy, and it had warped away an instant before the keyblade connected. Roxas ran to give chase, but some soldier-type heartless clawed him on the back; as he turned to engage it, his shoulder burned from a Scarlet Tango’s blast. Frustrated and hurting, Roxas raised the Kingdom Kay up with a two-handed grip, ready to jump the Tango-

“My, that’s quite enough, timeout!” Luxord’s voice called out, exasperated yet still posh as always, and it was followed by an audible snap of his fingers. Roxas heard a sound like that of cards being rapidly dealt, and it was exactly what was happening; Fair Game scattered in the air, the cards shifting around and enlarging fast whilst everything else devolved into slow motion, except for Roxas and Luxord, who approached him. “You’ll get yourself killed at this pace, Roxas, what are you thinking?”

The cards moved into position around the pair of Nobodies, forming a large box that cut them off from the nearly-still world outside. Luxord used his lighter to dimly illuminate the sudden darkness.

“We’re wasting time!” Roxas complained, his grip on the keyblade strong. The older Nobody smiled, probably at his choice of words, while fidgeting with the few cards still in his hand. The only audible sound inside the box was their voices and a constant, distant ticking.

“I wouldn’t say we have all the time in the world, but it’s bloody close,” he chuckled. “But what’s with this hurry of yours? You’ve been barging though this mission like that rabbit with the pocket watch…”

Roxas breathed in and out, frustrated that Luxord was adding minutes to his day. He used a couple of healing spells to cure his recent wounds, because he might as well. “I just want to get these chores over with,” he grumbled.

“This is about Axel, isn’t it?” The Gambler of Fate smirked, idly flourishing his cards. “You’re staring at the clock until he’s back, so to speak.”

Gossip traveled surprisingly fast in the Castle That Never Was.

“So?” Roxas crossed his arms. “What should I do, fall asleep for two more weeks?”

“Such sass from someone who barely grasped the concept of language two months ago. I’m proud.” Luxord chuckled, threw his cards up, and caught one between each finger, without looked. Roxas wondered if he even realized what he was doing. “Let me impart some wisdom upon you, neophyte. Time is relative, not only in terms of physics, but also our perception of it. Chores will drag on forever, yet time you spend enjoying yourself seems to fly away-”

“So I should skip missions?”

“No! Have you seen Saïx’s claymore- and it would somehow be my fault…” He raised one hand defensively, nearly dropping a card. “No, Roxas, all you have to do is find a way to have some fun during mission. A game, if you will…”

Roxas narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t naïve enough not to know that when Luxord played games, people ended up penniless and sometimes in their underwear or less. The Gambler noticed it and laughed. “For sport, of course – not that I wouldn’t take a bet, but still. Let’s say, how about seeing who can off the most heartless of a certain type? That ought to give you more to think about than mindlessly hitting whatever’s next to you…”

“But if you destroy a heartless, the heart won’t-” Luxord interrupted him with a _sssshh_ and a wink. “No one has to know if you don’t tell.”

Roxas nodded. The whole thing sounded a little silly, but there was no harm in giving it a shot.

“Also, let’s take a gander at your future...” Luxord smiled and shuffled the cards he had on him still. “Wouldn’t you like to know if Axel’s coming back soon?”

The boy’s eyes went wide. “You can do that?!”

“Why, of course!” Roxas _was_ naïve enough not to smell the bullshit. “Just pick a card, any card-” Luxord spread his cards into a fan, extending it to Roxas, who eagerly picked one. It was the King of Hearts, unsurprisingly, because all of them were the King of Hearts, until Roxas picked one.

Luxord feigned a gasp. “Oh my, how auspicious… that bodes very well, Roxas.” The younger Nobody seemed to react to that with childish glee. A strange choice, but Luxord wasn’t the judging sort. “It will be sooner than you expect.”

Roxas expected it to have been a month ago, but it was still pleasant to hear that, especially given Luxord’s confident tone.

The cards that made up the box around them shuddered and began to shrink down to normal size.

“I exaggerated how long I can keep this up- let’s proceed, Roxas,” Luxord announced, holding his hand up so that the cards gathered back into a deck as the box came undone. Outside, the paused heartless were moving less slowly by the second, converging on the pair. “Whomever offs the most Scarlet Tangos in two minutes wins round one!”

Roxas braced himself, jumping back into the fray as time flowed normally again.

He ended up winning most rounds, but keeping track of Luxord’s ever-changing rules did keep him totally distracted up until the end of the mission.

No mind tricks helped when he had ice cream alone in the clocktower later, though – Xion was busy. Luxord was on to something, because the hour he spent loitering there seemed to drag on and eclipse the rest on the day.

But both Xigbar’s and Luxord’s words did provide him some reassurance. _Just a few more days. Sooner than you expect._

The following day proved that number Ten’s uncanny luck applied not only to games, but to blind predictions as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dirtbag uncle luxy doesn't get enough screentime


	11. 48

“Worried…? We Nobodies don’t have the hearts to worry, you know-”

Roxas crushed him tighter, both to make sure he was really there and to stop him from saying that. It was the last thing Roxas wanted to hear right then. All in all, everything Axel had said had been downright unsatisfactory, ever since he randomly showed up in Twilight Town twenty-three seconds ago – his first words were _“Hey, Roxas, it’s been a while – What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost…”_

“But everyone who went to Castle Oblivion was…” Roxas mumbled into Axel’s chest, searching for ways to justify that inherent and constant contradiction in his attitude. He had been worried. That was true. He didn’t have a heart. That was also true.

It only didn’t make sense if you thought about it, which Roxas ultimately decided to avoid. “Saïx told me you might be gone too… until a week ago.”

Axel rolled his eyes all the way, groaning. “That bitter bastard- as if!” He laughed. “I’m tough, got it memorized? You don’t have to, hm, worry. Ah, can you not crush my ribs…?”

Axel breathed in better as Roxas loosened his embrace obediently. “Sorry,” he said, and tentatively added, “I missed you.”

“It’s okay,” was the smiling reply and, as Axel’s fingers rested on his head and ruffled his hair, he was very, very ready to hear _I missed you too_. “I hope you made friends with some of the others while I was gone.”

“Ah, yeah…” He nodded, a little disheartened- well, disappointed. But it was only a little. Axel wasn’t gone anymore. He was there. That was enough. “I’ve hung out with Xion, mostly, Luxord is being nice, and I had some missions with Demyx-”

Axel seemed surprised at the mention of number Fourteen, but his interest peaked a little forward. “Demyx, huh?” He grinned in a way that made Roxas guess at the subject that’d be brought up. “I bet he made some advances.”

“Yeah.”

“And…?” Axel’s hand was quick to stop Roxas from looking away. His reactions were predictable like that.

“And nothing,” he answered, grabbing Axel’s wrist to displace the hand. “I refused.”

“Really?” Axel wagged his thin eyebrows, the exact overtones of the gesture lost on Roxas. “Odd, you seem to enjoy it a lot-”

“Only when it’s you,” Roxas muttered.

That gave Axel pause. His wagging eyebrows knitted into a slight frown. “Have you been waiting for me this entire time without…” He put on a silly grin as the younger nobody nodded rapidly. “Damn, Roxas, that’s hot.”

“Hot?” Roxas corked his head, confused. Axel kept forgetting he wasn’t well versed in slang. “I don’t-”

The first times they’d done it, Roxas hadn’t gotten the point of kissing. It was weird, to have his lips suckled on and another tongue licking his own; it seemed to serve no purpose. But now, as Axel held his face up and did it, after those six weeks, it was wholesome. It was as close to Axel telling him he was important as he’d get without things actually being said. It made him feel weird all over, and antsy, like when he woke up, and warm- hot.

“Do you get it now?” Axel asked after deciding he was done. Seeing Roxas’ flushed face made him reconsider, and he kissed Roxas’ cheek, tasting the warmth there. “Hot can refer to this.”

The lad nodded, and drew in a deep breath before opening his mouth to say, “Axel, I’m-” But he was interrupted, gasping as Axel’s hand casually slid down to his crotch and palmed the growing bulge there. “I know you are,” the redhead said, smirking. He pulled the hand back as Roxas started to hump against it, and delighted in the little frustrated groan that ensued. Roxas had a talent for being cute that he’d never expect from a Nobody. “But if you’ve waited so long, you can wait a little more, yeah? I miss sea-salt ice cream-”

The sound of swirling darkness as Axel opened Dark Corridor muffled Roxas’ hoarse, reluctant agreement. Axel found it endearing, how he didn’t even try to argue.

Roxas hurried ahead though the vortex of darkness, trying to will his body to normality again, so that it would feel less uncomfortable to sit at the clocktower for a while, but it seemed impossible. His body had longed for Axel to be back, and now he was. There was only one way to fix it. But he’d wait – the though of insisting, bothering Axel, and finding out he didn’t want it as much, it was scary-

As he stepped out of the darkness, there was no twilight, and none of the sounds of the city. It was white and confined, a largely featureless room with a bed in it – Axel’s bedroom, in the Castle.

“I lied,” he heard, as thin arms wrapped around his body from behind, and Axel’s breath made the scruff of his neck tingle. Their bodies pushed together, Roxas could then feel the distinct pressure of Axel’s arousal on his back. It was elating to know that he was responsible for that. “Enough waiting.”

Roxas agreed incoherently as he both heard and felt the zipper of his cloak be pulled up all the way, and the reverse happened with the zipper of his pants; Axel’s hand got to work as he kissed Roxas’ neck from behind.

The sensation verged on electric, as he finally got that touch he had been emulating through flawed memories for what seemed like very, very long. His heart – the physical one that they didn’t lack – hammered in his chest, and Roxas stood on his tiptoes as the sensation made his every muscle tense up. Axel nibbled at his neck, seeming to revel in the effect he was having, and picked up the pace of his stroking; panting, Roxas grabbed at his wrist, stopping him, or it’d be too much, too soon-

“I missed you too, y’know,” Axel whispered as he stopped, and it was too much. Despite the pause, Roxas came undone on his arms, his body spasming then going limp as those waves of ecstasy washed through his form, dissolving his thoughts, his doubts. The sounds he made got a grin from Axel. “Woa- I guess that’s to be expected, after forty days…”

“Forty-eight,” came the correction, amid heavy breathing.

“Oh, time flies in Castle Oblivion- that’s a lot to make up for.” Axel turned him around, which was easy with how limp Roxas’ body was immediately after that. He raised the boy’s chin to stare into those blue pools. “But let’s give it a shot.”

Roxas slid out of the cloak in response, and let himself collapse sideways in the bed, kicking off his boots. Axel was on him a moment later, taking off the rest of his clothes in a hurry, before pushing him down with his back to the bed and looming over.

The mere sight of Axel on top of him, looking at him with desire, was enough for Roxas to be ready and eager again, and he spread his legs on instinct, to Axel’s approval.

“When we get our hearts back…” The older Nobody started, biting his lower lip, but left the though hanging in the air, unfinished. He didn’t need to finish it. Roxas understood, and it made him feel warmth, a different kind of warmth, overlapping with the heat of his body.

He would have replied something, if the sudden sensation of fullness didn’t shatter his chain of reasoning into a hundred little pieces as Axel thrusted in eagerly. It hurt, but Roxas’ had been burned, frozen, cut, and nearly had his arm torn out by heartless on occasion- he could deal with pain. Especially pain that soon gave way to something much, much different. He was too elated to even make out the words that Axel was moaning right next to his face.

Luxord was right when he said that time spent enjoying yourself seems to fly away. They must have taken over an hour catching up, but it felt over too soon – Axel thought he wouldn’t be able to take any more, and it was probably true, despite him wishing it wasn’t.

With Axel holding him, his body sore and plastered with sweat, lying down amidst scattered pieces of black clothing, Roxas found sleep without chasing it, for the first time in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it ended abruptly, I was gonna go into more detail, but then I remembered i'm bad


End file.
